Saturday, September 21

have decided...
not to come online for weekdays...except in school
..
there's only 2 wks. left. i am freakin out. *shit*
happy mid autumn anw

+ + + + + reminisiced at 06:20 memories... |

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Friday, September 20

bahs. bloggin as u can see.
suposed to have a fruitful morning of studyin.
*bahs*:: conclusion. jy cun study!
bahs. she was more of reading CLEO
!!! but the fact is .. i cun study any much better too
oh wells *sighs*
its such a eerie/weird feeling to have someone
looking at u blog. *bahs*
hope the rest of the day... somehow..*can get on with studiny....*.,..okies~. tAx.

+ + + + + reminisiced at 22:05 memories... |

*my gawd*
realised how long my comp have been stoning.
kept being away to tok on the phone.
hahas. my cous, minli, jiayan.
and the calls damn long lorx.
anw...*finally got my tuition thing settled*
and gonna have it tml!!! *and hopefully jy+i will study =)
and also the other cramming peeps!

+ + + + + reminisiced at 07:40 memories... |

haha. and did i mention? having comm meeting soon...*bahs* got pppl late!!!

+ + + + + reminisiced at 06:31 memories... |

read some msges in my gbk..which i just opened.
and heys!

U got me grinning!!!

+ + + + + reminisiced at 06:18 memories... |

my god. realised i haven been talking on the phone for long.

i simply love talking to my cousin.

i simply love talking to jiayan too!
guess my life isn't that bad aft all...coz there's ppl around who makes me =)

_{guess...prob its just some minority whose makin my life miserable. damn miserable}. but heck. who the hell cares about them. when i've got them!
*grinning awae* but accks. my headaache's back ... *scrowns*

+ + + + + reminisiced at 06:07 memories... |

oh. did i mention? little acts/things that people do can realise piss/put me off?
guess i am one who really takes things qt....xxxly? [cun think of any word]
_{and was qt pissed off with someone today.guess i m on my way to knowing her BAD side<
hope this journey don't continue!}

+ + + + + reminisiced at 06:04 memories... |

okies. finally can get down to bloggin.
i duno. have been really feeling down nowadays.
like my life is just so meaningless. so unnecessary.
like what should i even be here lorX
wasting another's rersources + all...
was kinda having fun in the morn. that crazy running back to class w jialin..*hahas*
maths test was considerably easy..
. really hope i would be able to score full marks.[at least get A1 for the first time?..]
lessons were interesting...*ehs. PE wads!!! *hahs* the throwing and all...bleahx. guess me + jl can be real mad.
the match was qt saddening. i missed a goal *bahs*...and we lost~ haix. due to that las minute score
hmmphs!!! had assembly + i tink i like their plot~.
3W's concept was good...and some parts *suspiciously* resembles my class assembly/what we had intended to carry out...
perharps its just that great minds think alike?
oh wells. crap. recess was so horrid. intended to go for some run w mich..budden she had meeting. *grr*
ran back ...to class to get it opened and realised nobody came back till like god knows how long?
felt so horrible den lorx. was gettin on the heat. then was feeling so loner.
nobody i'as close to was around. *haix*...and they were all muggin? *serious muggin* ; really
except for that _{fen,ta,car,ser} grp? so noisy lorx...and vienna kept telling me to help "shussH" them
so paisehs lor. like they ain't exactly the nicest ppl around ...and *yah*. haix.
and so ... had a boring and really offended recess [!!!] shuush-in away w some aid of goodwillers?

lessons after that was horrid surprisingly...understood what mrs ong was toking about! [*smiles*]
den was chinese. damn disatrous lorx. know what? i din do well for my cL paper lorx. * i admit i din study...but that day was feeling relatively sick lorx.*

and the most coincidental thing was...that dear form tchr of mine moved me away from yingying in the middle of the test
just because we were giggling away?
and we even went to find her to tell her that there was NO way we cheated lorx.
and guess what...she was like *i know* *i know*...and the damn reason she shifted us away was because she saw us giggle and said that ^{sharing a stationery durin a paper is bad enuff..and we were even laughing...}

its so !!!!

its like... i am sure ppl will think i just passed the test cause i copied or what lorx. *according to ying*
but oh wells. maybe that zhang is just out to ruin my reputatn*bahs*
!!! den was after school. had like 1 hr plus to the lishi meeting can?
do u know its really damn gek?!
like everyone's going hm.. *which was what i planned to do?* OR going out...
and i was just stoning and saying.."nope..not going..having meeting.."???
arrx. den okies. lishi meeting wasn't that bad larx. though some ppl neh come...was qt fun. fruitful.
well..at least like 75%'s done?! *smiles* haix..and tt xm hai shi lao yang zi ... **oh wells**

acks. its just me whose making mi own feel so damn what right?
!!!!arrx. i duno. feel so loner. like ain't got anyone to tok to..at all
ppl whom i used to talk to...are relatively busy or cropped up with their own stuffs?
and.... i dun think i wld be able to have any real friends in class.
hypos.self-c.power-fe. its all about reality. realistic i meant. *haix*.
maybe ppl who ain't rich or just striving hard for survival just ain't supposed to have the fun
and ppl just don't seem to get it....and i dun get it myself.......
arrx. am beginning to blabber to myself again..... *wots was i gonna say?*aiyah..forget it larxx...

+ + + + + reminisiced at 05:19 memories... |

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Thursday, September 19

in the mornin i feel the breeze
the sun washin over mie..
and it feels so rite
just open your eyes and see
life is beautiful
its so bootiful to mie
life is beautiful
so beautiful
its beautiful to mie
_{it is? ....dunch know. it was though}

+ + + + + reminisiced at 22:48 memories... |

oh wells. feeling so sucky...
guess like what jessie said...
[[as in applyin 4 me]]..
hate the new me.
not that i changed or whats.
*bahs*. grades simply suck larx.
"you qi nu bi you qi mu...*
in this case...its
you qi "grades" bi you qi wo...

+ + + + + reminisiced at 22:45 memories... |

maths was so easy!!!
*grins*. hopefully this time...it wun be backfired.
like...my answers were exactly the same as Sarah...
? okies...

still feeling qt sick...*flu* and all...
cun stand it. always lydat one..
half sick? *bahs* am missin lotsa ppl
bleahs... i wan blog somemore + sign >... but *arrx*

+ + + + + reminisiced at 19:58 memories... |

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Wednesday, September 18

*lala*
am keepin my fingers crossed that ms tan wun suddenly pop in.
watched X-files + Charmed last night...
Charmed was so so nice....
and X-files is ending? Season Finale... part 2 nex wk.
i shall watch ..despite cl test the nex wk on thurs.
yesterday,,,,,,
didn't really finish cl...
but did that during el!! *oopx*
hees... ok. better study

+ + + + + reminisiced at 19:59 memories... |

[18th September 2002 ][5:29PM]

oh darn. realized its 5+ already..cun resist bloggin. offline. hmmx. haix. my mum kept my modem again?!
oh wells. intended to do some research online….but cun already.
haix. went home relatively early today. reached home around 3!
was going home w sipei+ kailing~
haix. hardly see xm/ evil/ jy nowadays.
except when we happen to go for the same remedial?
..haix. like…all of us are like having no life now?
its all study, study, study and study.
suddenly i am becoming so guai…going home str8 after school *if i can* and all..
not that i am against going home early…
but look at it lorx…
get home to do what?
m-u-g
oh wells. den if the mugging session doesn’t turn out effectively…guilt fills in and you will tend to stress yourself out.
not that i do. but. haix.
oh yes. just got back my chem. paper today. the one which i said was easy. i flunk it lorx. it did struck me a hell lot.
ok. i admit i didn’t really study. but … it had seemed easy to me… oh wells. if a paper that i took that made me think it was easy…and yet i flunk…what if the end of yr paper make me think its hard??
arrx, cun stand it….oh wells.
realized i have been isolated from whoever i’ll used to go find/stay back with in the past
hmmx. its not a one-sided case though
like..*yah* oh wells. haix. missed those times in the past.
fun/peace/joy/laughter?…now…its just talks of studies. results. tuitions. remedials and all
its so sucky~. and my classmates. *buay ta han…arrx.
do u know they score really high
and complain to me or whoever happens to be in my audible proximity when i actually do badly or just contented with my results?
its just so..
haix. dun understand. yah. in this society…its truly academic-orientated
but is it really that much more impt?
keeping in contact or updating each other seems hard yeah..

in the past…i would look forward to afterschool days.. coz that’s where the fun of coming to school really comes in…[[cun exactly recall what occurs…but…yah]]]…
now i still do look forward to after school.
why? coz i just can’t help falling asleep
during the last few minutes before dismissal comes in. and
just can’t wait to get out of the place where people are really that grades-orientated. not that i am not one. arrrx..*dunno how ta say larx*
maybe its just me. my inferiority…of my low grades as compared to the straight a pupils in the class..
yah. guess its just me.
haix. sucks larx. my grades and all
even if i put in my best effort? like the recent physics’test? and i just hit a B4…
that previous geog test…i put in my best effort..and guessed what i flunk. like 46% or something? its not like what ms tan said about lazy stdns lorx…
i admit i slack. but … i did give in my best effort?
and I actually depended on my chemistry for an A1 for CA because I was really doing so well in the first few terms? Not till that mid-yr where my grades nosedived?
i dunno larx. haix. just hope. a miracle would occur? somehow i ‘ll really improve and get some b3s and as?
and hope whatever friendships or what wun stray …. for this period of time. am missing my life.
*haix*

+ + + + + reminisiced at 19:57 memories... |

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Tuesday, September 17

ok. great. now it can load.
"

darn. cun go to my blogger...just to leave a note to say::
everything ends well in the end, if it is not well, its not the end

let nature takes its course? ...
haix. sometimes..its just that life sucks. and somehow we are supposed to brave through it.. learn the many lessons in life. we are afterall...the most "vulnerable" ppl now , at this stage that we even have to be monitored. oh wells. yah
*no time to sign gbks so just leavin a msg in here for u peeps*

haix.the wurld is gettin so ...

"

*takes a look at l.i.f.e.*
((shrugs))..

jy. evil. cheer up! remember that ilu !!!

+ + + + + reminisiced at 06:09 memories... |

:: i.n.f.u.r.i.a.t.e.d. ::
okies.
haix. something bad happened to my fwen.
but am glad i sorta helped her out liaox. *grins*
smiles. but gosh look at the time! was supposed to
finish my geog by 8pm can?! and now its 8.30???!!!
haix. maybe i am not fated to watch tian shi de you huo...
*haix*
haix. maybe its qt hard studying in a girls' school
with all the crookedness and all
:: not referring to anyone in particular larx ::
as in like ...just because ur hair is short + u r close to some girl
u r suspected of being a les? ridiculous lorx
even worse when spastic ppl start some spastic rumours?
like that happened to my friend..and she's really quite cham..
pasted something damn mushy + sweet from a storybook without stating the source
and now, ppl suspect her of being crooked...
but thank god her fwen is smart enough to differentiate rumours and the truth.
oh wells. although this matter doesn't really affect me.directly..
just detest whoever spreaded the rumour.
coz the ppl affected are my friends?
and whoever might in the future spread whatever types of rumours
lemme tell u. u'll be detested.
there's no pt in hurting another's feelings.
whats the point right?
gettin to see one be so depressed very nice mehs?
oh wells. jus dun get it.
the school has students who are getting > ridiculous.

+ + + + + reminisiced at 05:46 memories... |

u.p.d.a.t.i.n.g.in progress

+ + + + + reminisiced at 04:50 memories... |

:: life is getting so so boring ::
jus did a zodiac sign quiz and somehow i became an aquarius.
bahs...*so..hahs* nehmind. shall redo when i have the time...
btw.... i am gemini!!! [hints***][06061987][wuz my bday~]
okies. gettin lame. damn f**ked up now

attended mrs sia's remedial..wells basically in some familiar
classroom + some rowdy ppl * = { *
hmmx. can do log better now..i guess
okies. it really beats having the thought of """"exams""" in ur mind...
especially after what that cheong ² said.*arRx*really damn worried for everything lorx.
like. ok..yah. exams r great...why?? cause everyone jus mugs.and its no longer of emotions/feelings?!
its just anxiousness + more anxiety..
oh wells. and now got some pretty big prob. but i guess the other ain't see it/sense it. *bahs*
maybe i cun be bothered too

haixx.....sickk... duno.
today was such a typical typical school day...
made so much of an effort to listen entirely to the lessons that
i din even realise when ying was talking to me...
haix.dunno. maybe in a way ...its good
paying attention what...
but...yah..what if we strain apart from this half close fwenship?
haix.and that _she...simply have no comments abt her lorx
have nothing to say to each other?...
and even i now feel awkard...
arrx....hell...my world's in a whirl now..
and guess what...i am still in school!!! *waiting for kailing + sipei to finish thier quizes. bleahx
sure hope i'll be able to study when i get home later.
spent the whole of last night looking for my chem notes can?
it was so nicely done up + all..
legible...colorful?! and simply loved it lorx... [pink/blue/orange/green + black!] and now...its g-o-n-e-.....

think its in the changi airport mans....*sniffs*...
off to home soon~
so cosy...tt its too conducive to sleep/rest in. *grinz*
budden...i'll jus get hyped up about studyin at night...
and somehow will dread preparing to come to school..
duno why. but dreading school each + every day...
its jus seems so lame...
had to do patrol duty during recess to keep the ppl quiet???
like the sch isn't tt freaking noisy...
okies. wells. the s4s having prelims...so qt reasonable to be larx.
everyone's just between classes...miss the old sn? the one with the SN spirit?
miss the past. _{xiang hui dao guo qu}
nowadays...parents come home also so tired...den dun even have
the chance to tok to sisters....
arrghx
hmmx. maybe i shld consider doing well in physics then invent a time machine...
okies... better siams... off to home~

+ + + + + reminisiced at 01:07 memories... |

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Monday, September 16

...oopx.
screams...

+ + + + + reminisiced at 02:38 memories... |

*not coming online....today =[

+ + + + + reminisiced at 00:10 memories... |

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Sunday, September 15

_{where is mr wong?}oh wells. hmmx. having eL remedial nows.
*bahs*...read somewher that some tchrs got hold of
some webbies. so freakin privacy invasion huhs.
and links are such wonderful things that, perharps
every single one may be exploited. bahs. but
whatever. hees.
had chem test today...*so easy* grins*
okies. shall not gloat too much about it wil have 8 marks deducted though...haix. no time to finish...
and foolishly left some answer blank while waiting for the liquid paper to dry???.
the usual monday blues...madness
bahs.and the banned-ment of not able to come online?!
hmms.bahs.my family came home at like 1am?
i was trying to study chem...and bahs...fell asleep as usual.
subconsciously!!! and hees. woke up earlier than usual today..
and started the day with a gd mood!
hmmx. realised my class is freakin damn @#@$@$.... haix *esp... tt...*haiz*. missed the old her. its so un... oh wells.
maybe ppl are just gettin > practical + realistic?!

and ying was talking about some exam stress thing and god. some1 tell her she's freaking me out?
hmms...as in...i not really stressed out by her or whats...mos prob only overwhelmed...but haix.
she really seems very affected by it.
hope she can calm down mans. or else...*haix*

okies.like why the hell am i doing online now mans?
my sis damn corn..
use comp till halfway den felt sleepy...left the comp on.and went ta bed to slp. *bahs*
anw...hmmx. realised cun study at home. duno. much too comfortable? or perharps now very humid arrs!!! *hees* okies. shall stop all this nonsense. shall go take a bath now. *sign gbks tml* =) ...<

+ + + + + reminisiced at 23:58 memories... |

wld they even noe... that i miss them?!
:: haix. splitting headache nows. urghs::

+ + + + + reminisiced at 06:34 memories... |

okies. finally can load my blogger!!!
(((hees))).... came back from the airport
went with evil + jas..
hahas. went so early lorx.
reached there ard 9.15....
den met at cold storage...bought some snacks for breakfast
haahs... den we settled at coffeebean...
even with the knowledge that we cun possibly afford the stuffs there
and...wells.
begun opening the snacks der ...
and realised the cornitos i bought was not crispy.
was rather *HMMsy!!!* hees. oh wells.
then the two of them insisted that we made a refund...
and off we went.
hahas. of coz..we were rather paisehs..
budden the staff were very nice...and there + then...
jas taught me the art of knowing-when-ur-snack-is-crispy-w/o-opening-it.
and guessed what?
it worked!!! hahas *shan't tell U how too.. *bleahs* *
den we went staff lounge...goodness.
damn nice an eatery lorx.
the food isn't expensive..there's a large variety...and rather spacious too!!!
den...we studied for some time...
and had lunch at 12...
and gosh. somehow we were that slow that we finished eating at 1?
den the 2 of them__((pigs!!)) fell asleep...
leading me to a short nap attack too......
oh wells. okies. tried studyin...but cun...
hmmx.den met the other 2 ppl..
oh wells. guess something bad happened btwn..them
wasn't exactly happy with what they did lorx.
kaox.oh wells. 1st to coffeeclub den to viewing gallery.
it ended more of some kinda talking session?!
hees... okies.
den ... was sushi-yummy...
oh wells. binging the whole day.
but hmmx. enjoyed myself...somehow..
ahahas...
but still home alone now...
and they wun be back till 12 am?!!!

+ + + + + reminisiced at 06:29 memories... |

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emoh